The Lump That Roared

I wake up Saturday morning to find a bruise on the inside of my foot about 3-4 inches long. Strangely enough, it doesn’t hurt, but as I am diabetic, I freak out and decide to see the doctor ASAP. I am fortunate enough to get an appointment on Monday afternoon and ask for a half day off. On my way to the doctor, I’m stopped and waiting for traffic to ease up so I can jump onto the freeway, and then: THUNK!

I got love-tapped from behind by some idiot, I cross my fingers and hope there isn’t any damage to the Reliant as I turn on my flashers and to try to position my car so that others can get by. I get out to confront the other driver (or rather the guy the gal driving was with). Luckily, the car looks just fine, I can’t find any indication of damage, and I felt none the worse for wear, so I got the other driver’s name, phone number and license plate, just in case, and went on my merry way…I figured I had bigger fish to fry at the Doctor’s and I didn’t want to be late.

I arrive at the Doctor’s office not terribly late, albeit a little shaky from the hit I took in the car earlier. The doctor eventually comes in and I explain the situation to him. He has a look at my foot, pokes around a bit, and notices some slight bruising on the lower part of my shin that I hadn’t noticed before.

He then ask me if I had banged my foot on anything recently…I said not my foot, but I did knock the hell out of my shin two Sundays ago on a friend’s car (much to his delight, farking sadist) and it bruised up pretty good. Heck, for the rest of the day it looked as if I had a second knee growing out of my leg.

It turns out that when something like that happens, it can take awhile for the blood inside the bruise to travel down the leg, and when it does, it can pool in certain areas, like the inside of your foot. (ta-da!) He then said it would go away with time, there is nothing to see here, and that will be $25 for the co-pay. I bought up the hum-dinger I had on the way there, but he said I should be alright.

I think my friend owes me twenty-five bucks.

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