I wrote this little satire back in 2008, recorded it in 2012, and after a little bit of rework, here it is again. Enjoy!
- Despite what you are going to read, I am happy to do my civic duty.
- Indeed, I’ve been tagged multiple times in my life already
- Weirdly enough, working on a short story about a trial right now, go figure.
- Took a wrong turn, got stuck waiting for a train. Thank you, San Antonio.
- Not late, but there was a line for parking.
- Just realized I forgot to take my Vitamin C this morning, it would suck to have survived Comicpalooza only to catch ‘jury duty crud.’
- Dude behind me in line at the courthouse is standing just bit too close. Can I get a little personal space here?
- Forgot to take the change out of my pocket, officer got snippy at me in Spanish. THAT’S PROFILING MAN
- At least I don’t have to hear coworkers brag or whine about how Golden State blew it
- This beats work any day, fewer stupid people
- Felt cool to pin a white ‘juror’ button to my shirt.
- Can we get a nice ‘register to vote’ sign to put in front of the bench? The one there is made from poster board and looks like some kid made it.
- That said, if the judge’s kid DID make it, I rescind my previous statement.
- Cell phone ringers going off should incur a fine or at least a kick to the shin
- Court cafeteria tacos ain’t bad.
- Lack of coffee started to kick in at about 10AM, took the first opportunity to grab a cup soon after
- Court cafeteria coffee ain’t bad either
- One panel called for an Eduardo (not me) and an Edward. THAT’S GOING TO BE CONFUSING, PEOPLE
- It wasn’t until 1045 that I got bored enough to start playing Fallout Shelter on my Android tablet.
- Or not, back to the jury room!
- Got called to a panel!
- I’m sorry, but wearing a baseball cap with a suit is THE DORKIEST thing I will ever see.
- Gal that cut my hair a few weeks ago was on the same panel, small world!
- A two hour lunch break…thaaaanks.
- TVs are tuned to judge shows BECAUSE IT’S A COURTHOUSE GET IT HA HA HA
- Grilled ham n’ cheese hit the spot for lunch
- Okay, now I can play Fallout Shelter
- $1.35 for a 20 oz. soda? I may have to take one for the road!
- Back to the jury room, here we go.
- Waiting for a while after lunch, hopefully it’s a good sign
- Sent home at 2 o’clock, woo-hoo!
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO GIVE BACK MY JUROR BUTTON?
- Now to go wait some more while the oil in my car is changed! 😂
After months of learning to live with Windows 8 on the desktop, I picked up an ASUS VivoTab 8 tablet back in early 2015. Finally, I would get to experience Windows 8 with a touchscreen, just like
God Microsoft had intended!
As much as I like to think that I ‘got’ Windows 8 before, using it with a touch screen was wonderful. No more fumbling with sides and screen corners! The stupid charms on the right side of the screen finally made sense and I could bring them up by swiping in from the right side instead of madly fumbling around for for the magic spot with my mouse! Life was great!
That euphoria lasted for about five minutes until I tried to pull up the News app and it crashed. I checked for app updates in the Store, and there were none to be had. So much for that.
I am totally on board with the idea that there should be desktop apps Just like the ones we have on our phones and tablets. I shouldn’t have to go back to my web browser to do things. Indeed, I would love nothing better than pick up my Windows 8 tablet and left-swipe from app to app to get things done instead of having to go back to Ye Olde Desktop unless I want to.
Unfortunately, Microsoft’s apps suck. Everywhere. They sucked on Windows Phone, sucked on Windows 8 and continue to suck on Windows 10. Until they stop sucking, I’ll find myself going back to my desktop and my browser or using my iPhone or iPad. Don’t like it, Microsoft? THEN MAKE YOUR APPS STOP SUCKING!
After hemming and hawing about getting an iPhone, I finally broke down and got an iPhone 6 to replace my poor old Nokia Lumia 530. During the buying process, and over the first few months of ownership, I noticed a few things:
- I usually don’t buy cases for my phones but I am DEFINITELY getting one this time.
- I think the sales guy forgot to take off the plastic they put over the screen, gonna have to figure out how to take apart the case now >.<
- Speaking of the sales guy, he was starting to push just a little too hard to get me to buy another on-contract device. Grr.
- First order of business: upgrade to iOS 9!
- Make that the second order or business, had to charge it fully first.
- Weird thing: My Apple purchases have been three years apart: iMac in 2009, iPad mini in 2012 and now an iPhone. I guess I’ll be getting a new iThingie in 2018
- Picked up an OtterBox Defender case, which turned the slim, sleek, sexy iPhone into a big chunky thing. I may have gone overboard on the whole ‘protection’ thing.
- Then again, I like having a little heft to my devices, so it’s just as well
- There is something weirdly satisfying about snapping my phone into its OtterBox belt clip.
- It’s just as well that I traded in my Windows Phone, I don’t even think I could get few magic beans for it at this point.
- Speaking of which, I keep going OMG I CAN ACTUALLY GET THAT APP NOW instead of “Aww, no Windows Phone version.”
- iPhone is Coke. Android is Pepsi. Windows Phone is that godawful ‘Cola’ they have at the dollar store.
- I nearly talked myself out of an iPhone while waiting in the store. I started thinking: “Well, maybe an Android…” but then remembered my past experiences with them.
- When did Android phones get more expensive than iPhones?
- Sign of the times: I didn’t realize I hadn’t set up my voicemail until I got a phone call the next day.
- I thought I’d have to charge my iPhone once it hit 10% but it took a while for it to get really low.
- Not sure what I’m going to do with the earbuds that came with it: 99% of earbuds don’t fit my ears so I’m not even going to try them on.
- I’m having to get used to having a good camera on my phone. The iPhone has all but replaced my point-and-shoot Sony camera.
- That said, it was almost a full week before I took a picture, and it wasn’t even a selfie.
- Time since last charge: 51.5 hours standby, 7.5 hours usage 😀
- I already miss Cortana!
- BEFORE THE CON : As much as I don’t like to ding a show before it starts, they seem to be a bit unorganized based on their website/schedule issues
- No, brony friends, just because I have apples at the dinner table doesn’t mean I’m razzing you
- Minor drama even before the show started, oy
- FRIDAY : The closer I get to Houston the worse the drivers seem to get
- My GPS was set to ignore toll roads. I forgot I have a TXTag now /facehoof
- DQ down the road from the hotel? AW YEAH
- The hotel seems to have good WiFi, w00t
- A press pass! I feel special
- I liked the little Canterlot Times newspaper thingie
- Except for my badge, I have no pony stuff. I’m always the weirdo at these things
- If your job is to check badges, it might help to take off your sunglasses, dude
- Note to self: You don’t like heights, stay out of the clear elevators
- Furry 101 went well, had a good crowd out!
- Maybe a little too well, I blasted through my material in 30 min
- I kinda don’t want to go anywhere and lose my AWESOMELY CLOSE PARKING SPOT
- It’s a little strange how formal dances have become a thing at cons now.
- Thing I said in the elevator: “Yes, I’m here for the cartoon thing”
- SATURDAY : The day to day schedule thing isn’t that great if you’re a panelist.
- HOUSTON HAS WAFFLE HOUSE YES
- There’s a charity? Need to work on that advertising, guys!
- Sombrero covered with foil; what Mexican conspiracy theorists wear.
- Except for the whole ‘dudes carrying plush ponies’ thing this isn’t THAT weird.
- Thing I forgot: Writing panel handouts. Thank you business center!
- It wasn’t into today that I realized I should probably turn off my YOU’VE GOT *ING MAIL message sound. Oops
- A friend was all GET ME SOMETHING WITH THIS PONY ON IT, and I had to look up what she looked like.
- I have to say, the hotel is in a really good spot, plenty of places to eat around and even some within walking distance.
- Wore my red Wreck-It Ralph short on Saturday and realized if I let my hair grow out I’ll kinda look like the Steven Universe kid. YAY LAZY COSPLAY IDEA
- Not sure how I feel about the whole ‘paid lesson panel’ thing
- Saw another panelist who stood still in front of the audience and droned on and on. Yeah, I think I’m Doing It Right
- Selling is always a crapshoot, Thom Zahler didn’t have any copies of Love and Capes on him, guess I’ll check it out online! Long Distance was very charming, be interesting to see where it goes.
- I am a mite disappointed in the hotel, the early check in thingie in their app didn’t work and I put my ‘do not clean’ sign up at night and they did it anyway.
- Someone I may or may not have known in college recognized me. Whoa.
- E-book panel went well, too, I think I’m getting the hang of this!
- Question during panel: “Was DashCon or Sonic Con worse?” Me: “SonicCon…At least people went to DashCon.”
- Apparently my OC “Big Words” made everyone think of George W Bush…D’OH
- One elevator broke down, wasn’t too big of a deal, though
- Got a letter from a Derpy cosplayer addressed to ‘Someone Special’. ITS SO CUTE I DON’T WANT TO OPEN IT
- A musician got their tail in a knot because there were DJs in a musician panel. Oy.
- No conbooks, a bit odd considering all the art/fiction this fandom produces.
- If the point of the speakers in the flowers were to annoy the bleep put of me, Fission Mucking Accomplished, hotel.
- SUNDAY : Found a button on Friday and turned it in to lost and found on Sunday, I didn’t want it to become my “tell tale tie”
- I didn’t think AJ was going to remember the ‘No Fun Zone” thing he mentioned in our podcast, but there it was!
- Note to self: Always take pictures of cosplayers because likely YOU WILL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN even if it is a small con.
- I didn’t want to leave early Sunday, but life had other plans. Stupid life.
- Almost made it all the way home on the same tank of gas, thank you Honda CR-V!
I purchased a Windows 8 tablet (ASUS VivoTab 8) back in January with the intention of using it as a laptop replacement. On paper, it sounded perfect:
- Touchscreen that Windows 8 can work well in
- Full Windows 8 (none of this RT malarkey)
- Improved Intel Atom CPU and better battery life compared to a laptop
- Increased portability
- Only $150!
- Free Office 365 for a year
Let’s run down the list:
- Windows 8 on a touchscreen is pretty good. Heck, its actually great once you learn all of its little tricks.
- A full version of Windows 8 means I can install some of my favorite (read: ancient) apps I use like WinAmp 2.9 and Microsoft Money 2000.
- Remember Netbooks? Those used the first Intel Atom CPUs and they were dog slow. The newer one in the VivoTab is good for basic tasks and battery life has been in the 7-8 hour range which is what I wanted.
- Even with a case, the VivoTab is remarkably portable. Like my iPad mini, a 7-8″ tablet is the perfect size to carry around.
- The price was definitely right!
And now we get to the device’s biggest problem: Microsoft Office. Because the VivoTab is capable of running the desktop version of Microsoft Office, that’s what you get. That would be pretty neat, but Office is not optimized for touch on an 8″ screen. Thus, I end up wasting time mashing its teeny icons with my sausage-fingers and fighting the interface instead of doing work. Styluses are no help either, they make me feel like I’m trying to draw on the screen with a fuzzing crayon. I bought a Bluetooth mouse and keyboard so I can get around Office more efficiently, but carrying them around and setting them up sucks some of that wonderful ‘portability’ out of the tablet.
Finally, Office 365 sucks horribly on this device. It had a terrible habit of slowing down to the point where I could see letters being placed on the screen one…at…a…time every few seconds. I would type out a full sentence and then wait for the poor thing to catch up before doing the next one because I didn’t want it to crash and potentially lose my work. I got into the habit of saving very frequently for a few frustrating weeks before removing the craptacular Office 365 and installing my copy of Office 2010. Needless to say, I have no intention of paying for Office 365 when the trial year runs out.
I really like my VivoTab 8, and if Microsoft could get around to making a version of Office that was suitable for smaller tablets, I would like it a whole lot more.
Oh wait, they already made one…it’s on my iPad mini! /facepalm
As I mentioned previously, I tend to carry a chip on my shoulder at work, which can increase or decrease in size depending on the derp that is being thrown my way by customers, coworkers, and the company I work for. I recently had an instance where working on a story during my lunch hour improved my mood and I felt happy throughout the remainder of the day.
It happened again. I got worked up into a lather one morning thanks to a coworker who couldn’t follow simple directions. I reached the point where I had to walk away from my desk because I wanted to hit something or someone. Lunch couldn’t come too soon because doggone it, I needed a break.
I returned to my desk and lunchtime soon arrived without incident. I tapped away on my tablet, looking for some mental respite from the day. I had earbuds on and was listening to music in an attempt to blot out the office noise. As is often the custom, I opened my ‘To Do’ directory and scrolled down the list of unfinished short stories, blog posts, podcast scripts, and book drafts for something to work on. I opened up the short story that I had started before. The words flew from my fingertips and I had a completed first draft by the time lunch was through. As was the case before, I felt better after the fact.
It then occurred to me that I hadn’t written any fiction in quite a few days; I had been spending them formatting “Fuzzy Words” for publication and recording and editing podcasts. I started to wonder: was I more easily upset because I hadn’t worked on any stories in a while? Have I gone from ‘I like to write’ to ‘I need to write?”